It’s not news that anxiety and other related disorders are commonplace in today’s society, and so is talk about ways to combat it, particularly in the bedroom. One couple found their solution from a professional, in the form of hypnosis. While hypnotherapy definitely can be very effective for many problems, including a stalled sex life, it can be rather costly.
Before taking that step, there are a few things couples can try on their own to ease anxiety, and rekindle their love affair. No matter which route you choose, it is best to set aside specific time to spend together, even if it requires literally writing it into your schedules. The following are a few suggestions for how to spend that time.
Take a walk down memory lane – This isn’t a literal suggestion, and doesn’t call for complete re-enactments of the past. Sit down together, and talk about some of the sexier times you enjoyed together in the past. Take notes, and look for common actions or situations that regularly got you both in the mood. Pay attention to the little details with senses of smell or taste involved, like maybe you both were up for some fun after a trip to a favorite ice cream parlor. Perhaps you could always smell pine trees when you’d go out parking on a secluded lane. Focus on those sensory triggers, and include them in your next encounter somehow. Sensory triggers can be very strong, and help put people back in a moment in the past, in this case, a more sexually active point in your relationship.
Reintroduce yourselves to your bodies – The importance of human contact is emphasized literally from the very beginning, with experts pointing out the importance of touching babies as soon as possible after they are born. This is just as important in adulthood. Spend some time just touching each other, even if it’s simple caresses or even tickling. Don’t start this with the thought of trying to end up having sex, though. Just let things move along naturally, and don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t go beyond touching. This is all about rebuilding intimacy, and relearning each other’s reactions. Remember, babies are calmed by touch, and so are adults. It’s something that most people don’t think about, but they’ll say how relaxed they feel after spending money on a massage. Of course, the next step of this reintroduction is massage, but not the sort that one should be getting outside the bedroom. Consider trying your hands at Tantric massage. A good start point is Tantric Massage for Beginners.
Try some erotic mind play – Technically, this is hypnosis, but not the sort that one would be getting from a professional. This is all about building intimacy, but with the mind. Again, triggers can be a very powerful thing, and in “kink” world, this can involve encouraging verbal cues for specific physical responses. No, you won’t be able to get your partner to do anything bizarre in public (nor should you consider it), but you should be able to reach a more relaxed state of mind. Hypnosis, trance states, and meditation are all about tapping into your subconscious to one extent or another. That means that you’re working toward going around, under, over and straight through negative emotional responses that get in the way of whatever you are trying to accomplish. If you’re interested in taking this journey together, a good start point is Mind Play: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis.
No matter what you choose to do, keep away from the trap of negativity – be patient, and learn to ignore or minimize negative self-talk. We all can be our own worst enemies, and that applies to relationships and intimacy as much as it does to anything else.